Vayetse

What a day! Jacob runs away from home, has a vision of God and falls in love!
In reality, it takes longer than that, but the way the story is written in Torah the timescale seems conflated and the events come so fast one upon the other that it seems his whole life is turned upside down in little more than twenty four hours.

At the end of last week’s portion, Jacob ran away from home. He had just tricked Esau out of his blessing from Isaac, and Esau has sworn vengeance. At the beginning of our portion, Jacob sets off in the direction of Haran and that night, Jacob finds himself alone in the wilderness with nothing but rocks for company. In the fitful sleep that comes he has a dream of a ladder reaching to heaven with angels ascending and descending and God’s voice reiterating the promise made to his father and grandfather.

The next day, he continues his journey and, coming to a well, engages in conversation with the local shepherds. They point out Jacob’s cousin, Rachel, approaching the well. Jacob falls instantly in love – demonstrated by the last words he says in the part of the portion that we will read. ‘It’s still the middle of the day,’ he tells the shepherds. ‘Why are you hanging around? Water you sheep and go away!’
He clearly wants to be alone with this young woman who he has not yet met.

Such coup de foudre seems to run in the family. When Rebekkah, having agreed to marry Isaac sight unseen, catches a glimpse of him, the impact is such that she falls off her camel! Isaac takes a little longer to fall – he marries her first, and only then does he come to love Rebekkah. Their partnership is often seen as the archetype for an arranged marriage. Yet it is not a success. By the end of the story, Rebekkah is reduced to listening at doors to find out her husbands intentions, and works secretly and deviously to get her way. The other ‘arranged marriage’ that of Jacob to Leah is also unhappy – a good argument it would seem to marry for love.

But it is not quite that simple. Jacob sets off for Haran, not just to escape Esau, but to find a wife. He has had the lecture from his father … ‘Do not marry out. Do not marry a Canaanite. Marry one of your cousins.’ He fulfils his father’s injuction and more. So while he may have fallen in love in an instant – it was an instant that was carefully arranged to find himself in the proper place at the proper time. Had he not known that the young woman coming towards him was his cousin, would he have been so smitten? As Rachel approaches, we are told ’When Jacob saw Rachel, the daughter of Laban his mother’s brother, and when he saw the sheep of Laban…’ It’s not just the girl, but the property that comes with…

But Jacob and Rachel are happy. Theirs is a marriage that lasts. The moral of the story, therefore is not ‘marry for love’, nor is it ‘marry into your family/faith.’ The moral is, take care with whom you fall in love, and take time (seven years?) to ensure your decision is the right one.